At rehearsal (at what?) with Burnt Ice the other day I wanted to reintroduce one of my songs, "Holding These Feelings" which we recorded on our eponymous EP back around 2010 and I also included on my 2015 solo CD.

I found I couldn't remember more than a couple of verses off the top of my head, so I tried googleing my own lyrics! Not being at home I had no access to my archives, and thought my memory was better than it was.

Google couldn't find them (as I've never published them) but it was worth a try, after looking them up at home I was struck by how the lyrics I wrote have morphed as they became the lyrics I sung and recorded. Often to ease phrasing, deal with the guitarist (er that's me!) starting the song too fast etc. Perhaps also to improve their meaning, to my ears at least.

Also the title of the song changed from the original "Run"

Here are the original lyrics:

Lay awake at night
Holding these feelings
Try to put them down
Can't set them aside
Makes me want to run
Makes me wanna hide
Seems like I'll be carrying these feelings
to the day that I die

Reach out for what I want
Dust through my fingers
Can't get a grip, but
Still these feelings linger,
Makes me wanna run,
Find somewhere to hide
Will I holding these feelings
For the rest of my life?

Ideas of love
Holds me in their prison
Can't have reality
Can't let go of the vision,
Oh I want to run.
But there's no where to hide
I can't carry these feeling
For the rest of my life

Don't answer the phone
I know it wont be you,
Safer to stay here,
In bed with the blues.
I don't need to run,
It's somewhere to hide
Carrying these feelings
Make me want to die. 

Haven't learnt the lessons
Mistakes I made before
Followed you to obsession
And you didn't even call,
Oh, I don't want to run,
Don't even want to hide
Just want to let go of these feelings
Because I don't want to die.

An here are the ones sung on the Every Penny Of The Deal CD:

Lay awake at night
Holding these feelings
Try to put them down
Can't set them aside
Makes me want to run
No where to hide
Seems like I'll be carrying these feelings,
(to) the day that I die

Reach for what I want
Dust through my fingers
Can't get a grip,
Still these feelings linger,
Makes me wanna run,
Makes me wanna hide 
Will I holding these feelings
For the rest of my life?

Ideas of love
Trapped me in their prison
Can't break free
Can't let go of the vision,
I just wanna  run.
Find somewhere to hide
I can't be carrying these feeling
For the rest of my life 

Don't answer the phone
'cause I know it wont be you,
Safer to stay here,
In bed with the blues.
I don't have to run,
'cause it's somewhere to hide
You know carrying these feelings
Make me want to die. 

Ain't learnt the lessons
Mistakes I made before
Followed you to obsession
You didn't beckon, didn't call,
Oh, I don't want to run,
I don't even want to hide
I just want to let go of these feelings
I don't want to die.

Just want to let go of these feelings
I don't want to die.

I just want to let go of these feelings
I don't want to die.   

Who knows what I'll sing at the next gig....

I feel the changes mostly improve the song, they certainly make it easier to sing, and will be the starting point for me relearning them ....

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